


Things You Can't Take Back

by animeninjaNIPPON



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Divorce, Drama & Romance, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Jealousy, Marriage, Married Life, Miscommunication, POV Female Character, POV First Person, Relationship Problems, Unrequited Love, Your OC - Freeform, oc-insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-04-08 13:08:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 12,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14106069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animeninjaNIPPON/pseuds/animeninjaNIPPON
Summary: Sebastian and the farmer have been married for a while now. Jealousy, miscommunication, and perceived betrayal come into play, and tensions are high. A momentary lapse of reason becomes the knife that cuts the thread, and mutual stubbornness becomes the obstacle that threatens to tear them apart forever. [Sebastian X Female Farmer] [FemFarmer's POV]





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: This story was partially inspired by some people in the fandom talking about how the bachelor(ette)s changed after getting married – which is actually pretty realistic, from my experience – and I imagined a scenario where the farmer would have to earn their happily ever after, which quickly escalated into…well, this.  
> I decided to make this from the farmer's POV to see if the immersion would flow better that way, as I wanted to make another player character insert fic (I haven't found enough for my taste). Anyway, hope you enjoy this story.
> 
> Also, if you're not a fan of Abigail (or certain pairings of her), you probably won't want to click into this one.
> 
> This is the first chaptered fic I've attempted in over a decade, but I intend to finish this one. I'll edit the links to subsequent chapters as I post them.

Chapter 1: Prologue

_Well, Grandpa, I did it. I did everything right._

It had taken me almost three years to work my way into the Pelican Town community. I had developed a somewhat lucrative farming business, starting only with what little knowledge I had gained from my childhood visits to my grandfather's farm out in beautiful Stardew Valley. I had developed warm relationships with all of the townspeople, and even helped to restore the dilapidated and abandoned Community Center to its former glory. And most unexpectedly, I found the love of my life there – and much to my surprise and initial disbelief, I found that he loved me back.

I met Sebastian through his mother, Robin, while purchasing furniture from her one day. Had she not brought it to my attention during our transaction, I never would have known that she had a son – he was something of a homebody – but once I introduced myself, I immediately found him interesting. I didn't entertain the thought of more than a mere acquaintanceship with him until Mayor Lewis took me aside one day and told me that there were several singles in my age group that would be happy to receive my company if I made the first move, and that Sebastian was among them.

I had known guys like Sebastian back when I was working at the Joja Corporation. They were attractive and I had things in common with them, but they never went for girls like me – quiet, ambitious, and modest. They either had exciting girlfriends who shared their sense of style, or they played for the other team altogether. I didn't want to disappoint myself with rejection, so I never bothered to date them or anyone else on a long-term basis. After settling in the valley, though, I started to think seriously about the idea of getting to know someone on a more personal level. I started slow, talking to everyone and showing them that I was dependable enough as at least a friend. I was surprised that Sebastian showed even that level of interest in me, but even though I did my best to try and get to know all available relationship candidates, it soon became apparent that he was indeed the one…and after months of careful courtship and knowing smiles, he agreed to marry me.

The day before our wedding, I took some Crispy Bass to Jodi. After thanking me for my thoughtfulness, she sighed and gave me a sad smile. "So, you're really ready to tie the knot?"

"Yeah." I beamed with excitement.

"Kent and I were young ourselves when we got married. We kind of rushed into our marriage, with Kent being a soldier and all... I hardly got a taste of youth and freedom, and now it's too late to ever go back. I don't regret it, but looking back…sometimes I feel like I missed out on the opportunity to really know who I wanted to be." She fiddled with her braid idly, lost in her thoughts of the past. "All I'm saying is…Just don't make the same mistake. Don't lose sight of who you are as an individual once you decide to settle down." She patted my shoulder with motherly affection.

"I won't," I replied, somewhat uncomfortably. "Thank you."

I knew that she meant well, but I didn't want that kind of nervous influence in my head while I was preparing to open up my life and home to another person. I was overjoyed at the idea of Sebastian living with me, waking up beside me every morning and being the one person I confided in on every important decision. Being with him made me happy, and I wanted to return that happiness a hundredfold – I wanted to  _be_  the one to bring him that happiness. No matter what challenges we would face, I was determined to end each day in his arms, letting him know that he meant the world to me. I was going to continue working hard on my farm, not just for my grandpa's legacy, but for Sebastian as well, because his happiness brought me happiness.

Looking back, I wish I'd regarded her advice more carefully.


	2. Other People's Breakfasts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian and the farmer have been married for a while now. Jealousy, miscommunication, and perceived betrayal come into play, and tensions are high. A momentary lapse of reason becomes the knife that cuts the thread, and mutual stubbornness becomes the obstacle that threatens to tear them apart forever. [Sebastian X Female Farmer] [FemFarmer's POV]

Chapter 2: Other People's Breakfasts  
  
There was always so much to do on the farm, and I liked to get an early start. As soon as six-o'clock rolled around, I was out of bed and off to my tasks. But first, I had to say good morning to Sebastian.

He was already awake by the time I got out of bed, and I found him in the kitchen, holding two porcelain mugs. He smiled at me as I came into view, then handed me one of them. "Hey, want some coffee?"

"Thanks!" I took a sip, taking care not to burn my tongue.

"I needed some...woke up early from a nightmare and I just couldn't fall back asleep."

"Oh?" I wanted to know more about his bad dream, but he just shrugged it off.

"I don't really remember what happened…just that I didn't like it." He looked down into his coffee dejectedly, and I suspected that maybe he did remember and didn't want to talk about it.

"Ah…that's probably for the best." I moved closer to him, and he put his coffee down in anticipation of a hug. I set my mug down next to his, then wrapped my arms around him tightly. He squeezed me back, giving me a gentle kiss on the lips that got my adrenaline racing far more quickly than the coffee possibly could. I broke the embrace slowly, catching his hands in mine as I pulled away. I gave his hands a quick squeeze and smiled. "I have a busy day ahead, but it's going to be a good day." I picked up my coffee and drank it on the way out the door, stopping at the chest where my tools were stored. I absentmindedly placed the empty coffee mug in the chest as I retrieved my watering can and scythe, then bolted out the door, where my farm duties awaited.

My first task was to water the crops that my sprinklers didn't reach, since I had planted them close to my house. After that, I moved onto my chicken coop, where I fed and cared for each of my four chickens. I let them outside to stretch, then went to my barn, where I tended to my cow, goat, and sheep. I spent a fair amount of time milking and grooming them before letting them loose into the grass. By the time I had finished these and a few other chores in my routine – watering a few off-season crops in my greenhouse, checking the aging process on my wine, hauling goods to the shipping container – it was close to noon. Remembering that I had some geodes for Clint to process, I headed into town.

After my business with the blacksmith, I took my findings to the museum. I had already donated a sizable collection of minerals and artifacts to the museum wing of the building, but every now and then I came across an unfamiliar specimen for Gunther to look over. I handed him a layered gemstone, brown with a streak of gold in the middle.

"Tiger's eye," he mused, inspecting the mineral carefully. "We don't have one of these yet. Would you like to donate this?"

"Sure," I said.

He handed the tiger's eye back to me and pointed to the far right section of the massive room. "There should be space over there. I'll get a plaque for it soon."

I followed his directions, placing the stone in an empty display slot toward the back. As I was crossing the room to leave, a feminine voice called my name.

"Huh?" I turned around, and Abigail waved at me.

"Are you going to hang out with us this Friday?" she asked.

"I'll have to see what's on my schedule," I replied casually.

Abigail pouted. "But you're always busy. We haven't had all four of us together in ages."

Truthfully, I tended to opt out of those Friday get-togethers so that Sebastian wouldn't feel like I was trying to crowd into his personal space. I hadn't realized that my absence made a difference to anyone involved. "I'll try to make some time."

"Great! You can help me get the new high score on Prairie King!"

I laughed. "Hopefully I'm not out of practice!"

We exchanged goodbyes as I left, and another voice – this time, a man's – called out to me. It was Alex, running his annual summer ice cream stand. Haley stood on the opposite side of the stand, eating a triple-scoop ice cream cone.

"Hey, you look like you could use a refreshing treat," he offered. "Wanna buy some ice cream?"

"Not right now," I declined.

"Are you sure? I bet you didn't even have breakfast this morning." He grinned smugly, holding up his ice cream scoop with enthusiasm.

"I had coffee."

He and Haley chuckled simultaneously. "You call that a breakfast? Your man has to be feeding you better than that!"

"Seb doesn't really cook." I shrugged.

"Ohmigod," Haley spoke up. "I would  _love_  it if someone made me breakfast every morning!"

"I'd make breakfast for my sweetheart," Alex bragged confidently. "Pancakes, bacon, eggs…damn, that's making me hungry."

I eyed them skeptically. "Can either of you cook?"

"I can learn," Haley replied indifferently.

"Hasn't Sebastian learned by now?" Alex raised an eyebrow suggestively. "I mean, you've probably taught him more… _interesting_  things…"

Haley glanced at him with a look of mild embarrassment. "You mean farming, right?"

I wanted the conversation to be over before it began, but I guess I was too polite for my own good. "Of course he's helpful on the farm." I glanced over in the general direction of my home. "That reminds me, I better get back. I gotta check my feed stock."

"See you around," Alex called as I walked away. Haley waved me off with a simple "Bye."

I made my way across town without running into anyone else, and by the time I returned to the farm, it was time to usher the animals back into their quarters for the evening. They were pretty familiar with the routine, but it was still hard work to make sure they were situated properly. Once I finished that task, it was time to relax.

When I entered the house, Sebastian was nowhere to be found.  _He's probably busy on his laptop,_ I figured. I opened the chest by the door to put some things away and found several used coffee cups inside. "Huh?" I wondered aloud.

Sebastian came out of nowhere to see what I was looking at. "So  _that's_  where they all went," he mused. He turned to me with a look of irritation. "Can you try to get them back to the sink next time?"

"Sorry." I stooped down to collect the dirty mugs.  _Guess it's not quite time to relax…_


	3. Friday Night Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian and the farmer have been married for a while now. Jealousy, miscommunication, and perceived betrayal come into play, and tensions are high. A momentary lapse of reason becomes the knife that cuts the thread, and mutual stubbornness becomes the obstacle that threatens to tear them apart forever. [FemFarmer’s POV]

That Friday, I decided to go fishing. I hadn't forgotten Abigail's request, but I still didn't want to intrude on Sebastian's free time. Then again, he had never suggested that it bothered him… _Maybe it's all in my head._  Since the fish weren't biting, I took it as a sign from Yoba that I should pay the saloon's rec room a visit.

The door of the Stardrop Saloon creaked open slowly, flooding my ears with the familiar din of the jukebox and a crowd of joyful patrons. Some people greeted me with raised glasses, others with acknowledging glances, and I sauntered over toward the pool table. Sure enough, Sebastian and company were already there. Sam noticed me first and turned to look at me, prompting Sebastian to take notice. Sebastian was surprised to see me come over, but his smile welcomed me into the group. Before I could properly greet either of them, Abigail gently grabbed my arm.

"Ready to play?" she asked excitedly.

"I don't know," I replied tentatively. "Maybe I should get in a practice round first."

"Nah, you'll be fine." She headed over to the Journey of the Prairie King arcade, and I followed.

We probably spent an hour on that game before running out of motivation and pocket change to continue playing. Afterwards, we relaxed on the large comfortable couch across from the pool table and watched the guys play.

Sebastian glanced over at us with an amused smirk. "Watch this." He leaned over gracefully, lining up his sight along the pool cue. He studied the ball at the end with the patience and earnest of a cat about to pounce on its prey. Abigail and I inched forward in our seats anxiously. In the blink of an eye, the balls scattered – but the cue ball made an unexpected jump and ricocheted off of another ball, sending it flying toward the Joja Cola vending machine.

Sam gasped in horror and Sebastian shrank backward in embarrassment, but Abigail hopped up and caught the ball in one hand, with lightning-quick reflexes I never knew she had. My jaw dropped in amazement.

I quickly glanced over to the other side of the saloon to see if anyone else had noticed the commotion, but they hadn't. Sebastian came up to us and held out his hand to collect the rouge cue ball, beaming at Abigail in bewilderment. "Your pretty good at that," he exclaimed.

"I've been training my agility in the mines," she stated proudly, dropping the ball gently into his open hand.

"Maybe I should do more exploring again," he mused.

"It would be nice if someone came with me. It gets dangerous further down…" Abigail turned to me. "Hey! You should come, too!"

"Come to think of it," Sebastian said to Abigail, "she's never been in the mines with me."

"Oh…" Abigail looked mildly surprised. "That would be so romantic, you know…at least, I would imagine."

I felt an unexplained tension in my stomach as I wondered why she brought that up without any provocation. A strange feeling of dread passed over me, but I shook it off. "Oh, I don't know…but anyway, it's easier to go mining in the winter."

"That's a couple months away, though," Abigail said sadly.

Sam came over to join the conversation, and for some reason, it felt like a  _deus ex machina._  "So…who won this round?"

The guys went back to their game as Abigail settled back into the couch, presumably to catch future stray balls. I decided to call it a night and exchanged goodbyes with everyone, promising Sebastian that I'd see him later, though I knew I would be asleep long before he got home.

Once I returned to my farm, I brushed my teeth and cleaned up for bed. I decided to take advantage of my husband's absence by sleeping on his side of the bed, which had been my preferred space until he moved in and settled into it. I knew that Sebastian would just roll me over and sleep there himself when he got home, but it felt good to enjoy it for that brief moment before I drifted unconscious, relieving my brain of the latent concerns boiling just below the surface of my psyche.


	4. Minor Inconveniences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian and the farmer have been married for a while now. Jealousy, miscommunication, and perceived betrayal come into play, and tensions are high. A momentary lapse of reason becomes the knife that cuts the thread, and mutual stubbornness becomes the obstacle that threatens to tear them apart forever. [FemFarmer’s POV]

"Do we have any more pizza in the freezer?" Sebastian called from his corner of the house. "I'm hungry."

I looked up from the sink full of dirty dishes I was washing and sighed. _I swear, if it wasn't for those frozen pizzas Shane nabbed from his old job at Joja Mart and sent to me, this guy would never eat._  I froze, wondering where that though came from, then calmly responded, "I think there's a couple in the back."

I half-expected him to ask me to heat it up for him, but soon he was up and rummaging through the freezer. Sure enough, there was pizza back there. "I'll heat this up, then we can split it for lunch."

I smiled. "Sure. Thanks."

We ate our lunch together on the dining room table, in relative silence. I liked that we never had to force a conversation with each other, but sometimes it worried me when he didn't have anything to say. I kept my mouth full of pizza to curb the nervous impulse of trying to talk about stupid stuff. Apropos of nothing, he stared off into the distance and said, "I've been getting a weird vibe lately."

"Huh?" I swallowed my mouthful.

"I don't know." He turned to me. "It's probably nothing."

I frowned. "Is something wrong? Is it something  _I_  did?" I hadn't meant to say that last part out loud, but I also didn't think that I had done anything to upset him.

"Well, since you asked…" He flashed a look of concerned annoyance. "You could have cleaned up in here a little while I was gone...It's not very nice to have to wade through a bunch of junk after a hard day's work."

I felt my eye twitch. "Those were  _your_ things! I didn't want to mess them up."

"I trust you enough to know you won't purposely mess up my stuff. We're in this together, right?"

_Then why doesn't it occur to you to do some chores when_ I'm _not here?_  I wanted to say. Instead, I shrugged meekly. "Okay. Let me know if there's something specific you want me to do, so I can prioritize it."

"I mean, it's not like I don't have a job," he continued unnecessarily. "Some weeks are busier than others." He reached out and caressed my hand. "I think we have a good arrangement, though. Because of what you do, I'm able to do what I want to do…that means a lot to me." He smiled, which subconsciously forced a smile out of me.

"I'm glad…being near you has always made me happy, and I want to return the favor."

The next few days went by without incident, save for the usual annoyances I had grown accustomed to at that point. I mean, it wasn't like Sebastian never helped out. He would water some crops for me and feed the animals, and he would make repairs around the farm when I asked him to. He seemed enthusiastic about learning my routine, and had even altered his sleep schedule to match mine. A few minor inconveniences were to be expected in any relationship. Still, I had the feeling there was something he wasn't telling me, and that it had nothing to do with leaving his stuff in the middle of the living room. The day after the Luau, though, something happened that made those minor inconveniences seem like symptoms of a far more serious disease.

I had gone to the beach, hoping to reel in a pufferfish while they were still in season. However, I got distracted by the large number of intriguing shells that had washed up on the shore. Feeling compelled to collect them, I scavenged as many seashells as I could fit into my backpack. By the time I was done, the sun was beginning to set.  _I'd better head back home._

I walked slowly due to the weight of my backpack. Abigail, who had been hanging around in the cemetery, saw me and came over to chat.

"I've been wondering something for a while," she said. "You're such a good friend…maybe you can help me out."

"I'll do my best." My heart suddenly felt as heavy as my backpack.

Abigail must have sensed my distress. "Oh, it's not a life-or-death situation…that would be more interesting, though."

"Hmm…okay then. What is it?"

"Well…do you think it's worth telling someone that you have feelings for them if you know there's no future in it?"

"You'll have to be more specific than that," I said calmly, though an anxious feeling was rapidly creeping over me.

She became slightly flustered. "Well, I don't really know specifics…it's not really my question." She laughed nervously. "I'm sorry. I get some weird thoughts in my head sometimes when I visit the cemetery…it's almost as if it's the dead are trying to communicate their unanswered questions with me."

_It's probably just Abby being Abby,_  I mused silently,  _but I've seen some strange things out here, so maybe I should investigate this cemetery sometime._  "That's disturbing," was all I could think to say in response.

"No way…I think it's cool!"

We both laughed for a couple of minutes before parting ways. She went into the saloon to continue her Friday night tradition with Sam and Sebastian, and I went back to the farm to drop off my shells and go back to the cemetery for what would turn out to be a life-changing experience.


	5. Silhouettes in the Graveyard

Chapter 5: Silhouettes in the Graveyard

After dropping my shells into the shipping bin and taking care of a few other tasks on the farm, I returned to the cemetery, curious to see if something unusual was going on there. I stood beside a grave marked for "Our Beloved Mona," where I had often seen Abigail stand before.  _I never thought to ask if this grave has any significance to her…_  I closed my eyes, wondering if I could channel some type of spirit. I heard the low murmur of two people engaged in a hurried conversation and the shuffling of feet. My eyes flickered open for a moment, but closed once I realized it was just a couple of people passing by. The footsteps stopped a few yards away from me and the conversation became more audible.

"…I'm sorry," a female voice sighed. "I can't help the way I feel."

"If that's how you felt, then why didn't you speak up before we got married?" I recognized that voice as Sebastian's. My eyes widened and my muscles tensed.

"I don't know," the woman continued, and I realized it was Abigail. "I guess I didn't want to deal with it…but now, it's all I think about."

I quietly shuffled into a hiding position against Mona's tombstone, peering around it slightly to see their silhouettes sitting dangerously close together on a nearby bench.

"There wasn't any point in telling me," Sebastian went on. "I mean, you're my friend, Abby…I care about you. But I don't know how to deal with something like this." He shifted his hand anxiously through his hair. "I wish I had a cigarette right now or something…"

I felt nothing as I eavesdropped on their conversation, which I knew meant that I would succumb to an incredible heartache later. Nevertheless, I was frozen in place.

"I'm sorry," Abigail apologized again. "I don't even know why I said anything…I guess I just needed to get it off my chest once and for all."

"Don't say anything to her," Sebastian warned angrily. "Just…put it out of your mind, okay? There's no future in it."

Those last five words made the context of their tragic exchange crystal clear:  _Abigail is in love with Sebastian._  I felt a knot form in my stomach as my throat went dry.

I watched them from the shadows as they walked back to the Stardrop Saloon, and once I was certain that they were out of earshot, I quickly escaped home through the Cindersap Forest. Once I was locked away safety in my home, I decided to take a shower and get ready for bed.

I did a lot of thinking as the hot water rushed over me, washing away the sweat and grime of the day. I was angry at Abigail for having feelings for Sebastian, and even more so for telling him, but I knew I couldn't fault her for something she had no control over. But Sebastian…something in the way he phrased things didn't sit right with me.

" _If that's how you felt, then why didn't you speak up before we got married?"_ What did he mean by that? If Abigail had confessed her love for Sebastian before he and I exchanged vows, would he have chosen her instead? There was a certain anger in his voice as he spat out those words…could it have been frustration after the fact?

_Is this what Sebastian has been hiding?_  I wondered as I toweled off and slipped into comfortable pajamas. As I stepped out of the bathroom, Sebastian was waiting for me. I let out a startled cry and stumbled backwards, knocking the toothbrushes into the sink. "I thought you were out at the saloon," I exclaimed, fixing the mess I had made.

"It's almost eleven." He shrugged casually.

I looked up at him and our eyes locked. He showed no signs of guilt or resentment, but something about his piercing gaze made me question his integrity.  _He seemed so happy when I told him that I loved him…he seemed so honest when he shared his feelings with me. Was all that a lie?_

"You okay?" He waved his hand in front of my face, and I snapped back to reality.

"Sorry." I moved past him and sat on the edge of the bed. I expected him to use the bathroom, but instead he followed me to the bed. He sat down and whispered my name to catch my attention.

"Yeah?"

"You…you love me, right?"

"Of course…" Was he trying to make a decision? Weighing his options? I couldn't figure out why he was asking me that question. "Do you love me?"

"You're everything to me," he replied without missing a beat. I wanted to believe his words, but I could barely trust my own ears at that point. I was second-guessing every nuance in his voice. He draped his arm around my shoulders. I rested my hand against his chest, and we leaned in to kiss each other.

I tried not to think about the possibility of him imagining that he was kissing someone else, and instead decided to focus on persuading him with my physical affection.  _She could never give you this,_  I told myself. He pulled me closer as the kiss deepened, bringing his hand to my face and caressing the contours of my cheekbones with his thumb. I moved my hand to his leg for support, gradually sliding my palm upward…

He caught my wrist in his hand and gently broke the kiss. "Let's save that for another night," he suggested tenderly. "I've got a lot on my mind right now." He planted one last kiss on my forehead as he rose from the bed. "Why don't you get some rest?"

I mumbled a soft "goodnight" as I slipped under the covers, turning my back to Sebastian so he couldn't see the tears of rejection pooling up in my eyes.


	6. The Last Straw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I know that the 1.1 update made it so that spouses don't get jealous if you give a bachelor(ette) a gift on their birthday, but the story flowed better that way.

I didn't want to face Sebastian with my burning questions until I had them sorted out in my mind. There was really no tactful way to ask him what was going on with Abigail, and if my suspicions were confirmed, I wouldn't expect him to tell the truth. I spent the next few days in the desert, taking out my aggression on flying serpents in the Skull Cavern and mining for valuables. On Wednesday morning, though, I checked Welwick's Oracle and found that luck would not be on my side. A gut feeling suggested that I should stay away from the caves that day.

"You believe that stuff?" Sebastian asked as I turned off the TV.

"Better safe than sorry."

"Hmm…you have a point."

I went off to complete my morning farm duties, then headed south to Marnie's to see if I could pick up some extra feed. When I got there, though, she had already stepped out.

"Do you know when Marnie will be back?" I asked Shane as he passed.

"No idea," he replied evasively. "I think she said she had some business with the Mayor."

"Okay, thanks." I didn't expect to catch up to her, but I headed east into town anyway. As I passed Sam's house, he flagged me down.

"Got anything for me?" he asked excitedly.

"Nothing exiting."

He frowned. "Aww. You did forget."

My eyes widened.  _Oh yeah!_  I had been so distracted, I had forgotten that it was his birthday. I shrugged my backpack off of one shoulder and dug around until I found a Joja Cola. I chuckled playfully. "You still like these, right?"

"You remembered my birthday!" He grabbed the soda can ecstatically. "Thank you, this is great!" He immediately popped the top and took a swig. "My mom refuses to buy these. I'm starting to think I'm the only one in town who drinks this stuff..."

I was curious to know if he had any inside knowledge about what transpired between Sebastian and Abigail the previous Friday. "Sorry I missed you guys last week."

"Oh, I wasn't there either." He threw a glance toward his front door. "I had to help my dad out with something…I won't bore you with the details."

"Ah, I gotcha." I turned to stare out at the river. "Hey Sam…have you noticed anything weird going on lately with Sebastian?"

"Nah, just the usual…why?"

"No reason. Just wondering if something was bothering him."

"I'm always wondering that myself." I couldn't tell whether or not he was being facetious. "He's a good guy, though. Maybe he just needs to get out more."

I returned home later in the afternoon for lunch. Sebastian was waiting for me at the door as I came in, arms crossed in exasperation.

"I heard you secretly gave Sam a gift today," he said ominously.

"What do you mean? Today's his birthday."

"Do I need to be suspicious of you?"

A hot volt of adrenaline shot through my body. "You have a lot of nerve, Sebastian." He was taken aback, and dropped his arms to his sides. "Projecting your own guilt onto me…did you think I wouldn't notice?"

"Guilt? What are you talking about?"

"I know what happened with you and Abigail." The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them.

Sebastian grew angry. "What did she say to you?"

"Just that she had feelings for someone she couldn't be with…didn't take a genius to figure out who  _that_ was."

Sebastian suddenly looked crestfallen. "Why are you upset about this? Are…you on her side?"

"She's not the problem," I fired back. " _You_  are."

"Me?" Sebastian pointed to himself in disbelief. "I'm not the one who fell in love with someone I shouldn't have!"

"How do I know that?"

"How can you not? Isn't it obvious that it's  _you_  I want to be with?" He put both hands on my shoulders. "I wouldn't have married you otherwise."

A cold realization crossed my mind, and before I could process it, I heard myself say it: "You married me to get away from Demetrius."

Sebastian let go of me and stepped away. "You…you really think that?"

I was stuck, lost for words. We stood facing each other in mutual shocked silence. The more I thought about what I said, the more it made sense. "Actually…yeah," I concluded. "You take everything I do for granted because you know I won't breathe down your neck the way he does. Then you spend your time nitpicking about the things I  _don't_ do, and coming up with conspiracies about me being unfaithful to deflect from your own questionable relationships with friends." I was so angry, I didn't care whether or not my accusations were truthful.

"Then I won't waste any more of your life." He headed for the door. "Meet me at the Mayor's house tomorrow morning at nine." He slammed the door behind him, and moments later, I heard him rev up his motorcycle and disappear into the night.


	7. Dissolution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I took some liberties with the actual process outlined here to make it more dramatic. At some point, I had to question my conscience as I wrote this, because it saddened even me, but I do plan on ending this story on a positive note, so hang in there!

 

I did the minimal amount of necessary chores before meeting Sebastian outside of Mayor Lewis's Manor a half-hour late. He was pacing back and forth while smoking a cigarette.

"I thought you quit smoking," I stated matter-of-factly.

"You're not the only one who's about to get their old life back." He didn't even look up at me. I waited in silence for him to finish before we entered the house together.

Lewis seemed to know by our solemn expressions the reason we were there. That, or Sebastian had informed him of our predicament the night before. "Are you two sure that you want to do this?"

I looked over at Sebastian, who stared at Lewis with unwavering resolve. "It's better this way."

Lewis turned to me. "And you?"

Honestly, I didn't know what I wanted at that moment, other than to go back to the beginning of summer, when there was no doubt in my mind that Sebastian's heart was mine alone. I glanced over at Sebastian again.  _For someone who swears fidelity, he sure is in a hurry to get out of this relationship._  I became angry again. "Yes. Let's do this."

Lewis opened up a small record book and turned to the third page. On it, I could make out Robin's signature next to that of an unfamiliar man. Sebastian must have seen it, too, because his hateful countenance softened into sadness. I instinctively reached out a hand to comfort him, but he pushed it away.

Sebastian leaned forward to grab the book. "Got a pen?" he asked, turning it around.

Lewis put his hand over the open pages. "First, there's a fee of 50,000 gold. For processing and such."

Sebastian looked up at me expectantly. I scowled at him. "Of course you want me to do it," I snapped as I reached into my pocket for my wallet.

"I'll pay you back if it's that important to you," he snarled contemptuously. "I don't want to owe you anything."

"Don't bother." I slammed the money down next to Lewis's hand. Lewis carefully collected and counted the money I had given him.

"Okay, then." Lewis handed Sebastian the pen he had requested. Sebastian quickly scrawled his signature directly under his mother's, then passed the book and the pen to me. I carefully signed my name on the line and returned both the pen and the book to Lewis.

Lewis called us to attention. "By my power as Mayor of Pelican Town, I officially declare this marriage dissolved." He looked at us sadly. "I wish you both luck in your new lives."

Sebastian and I both returned to the farm – he to clear out his belongings, I to continue my responsibilities. We both finished our respective tasks around ten in the evening, and I approached Sebastian one last time.

"Where are you going to go?"

"Back to my mom's, of course. Demetrius won't like it, but I don't care if he hates me." He took a deep breath. "I'd rather hear it from him everyday than you."

"I don't hate you, Sebastian." I moved closer to him, expecting him to step away from me, but instead he reached out and pulled me into an embrace. I could feel his body shaking, as though he was moments away from breaking down.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted," he whispered.

I said nothing as he pulled away without looking at me. He took the last of his personal artifacts as he exited the house, and I collapsed into a sobbing mess on the floor as the door clicked shut behind him.


	8. Summer in the Valley

 

The rest of the summer passed me by, and I mostly kept to myself of the farm. I didn't want to risk running into Sebastian, or anyone else who might either resent me for the divorce or want to know the dirty details. I had missed the Dance of the Moonlight Jellies and had intended to skip the Stardew Valley Fair, but when I went to buy fall seeds from Pierre, he gushed about the challenge of besting my grange display so zealously that I couldn't let him down. I took an assortment of quality goods from my various chests and headed to the fair around nine in the morning.

No one asked me about what was going on in my personal life, a fact that I was grateful for. I quietly set up my goods in the empty display case, then looked around. I knew Sebastian would probably be hanging out around the river somewhere, if he even showed up, so I wandered through the game booths until I remembered that there was a fortune teller's tent I could hide in until judging time. I had to meander through crowds of out-of-towners, but it helped me dodge the sightlines of Abigail, Robin, and Demetrius. Surprisingly, there was nobody waiting to have their fortune told, so I let myself in.

"Ah," called a familiar crone's voice. "I'm detecting…a young lady, I presume? Come forward."

I did as she instructed, presenting 100 gold as payment for the transaction.

"Very good." She accepted the money and counted it. "Now, close your eyes and focus with me…"

I closed my eyes and saw a road between two fields of tall, golden grasses. A motorcycle zoomed down the road, carrying two people: Sebastian and myself. My heart began racing, thinking it was a hopeful premonition, but I soon recognized it as a memory from the summer when we had first become an item.  _Why am I seeing this?_

The scene skipped ahead to show the two of us lying in the field, my head resting against his shoulder. "Sebastian, I love you," I whispered. It was the first time I had told him that.

"I love you, too." He rose slightly to face me, smiling, then leaned over to whisper something in my ear. My cheeks grew flushed.

"Right here? In front of Yoba and everybody?"

"Yeah, why not?"

Our lips met as our hands intertwined. He repositioned his body over mine and closed the space between our heartbeats. A pain shot through my heart as I realized that I would never know Sebastian's touch again. Even worse, that my own affections would be forgotten in favor of Abigail's.

Another scene from another day…I burst through the front door of his home after having run through the rain from the beach. Robin was at her station to welcome me, Maru was heading toward her room, and Demetrius was taking inventory of something in the kitchen. As I wiped my feet on the welcome mat, Sebastian came up from the basement, presumably to enjoy the rain out on the boardwalk.

He greeted me with a warm smile. "If you're lucky, you might see a frog in this weather."

Grinning excitedly, I presented him with the Mermaid's Pendant. His eyes lit up in ecstatic amazement, instantly knowing the symbolism and intention behind my gift, and he stood speechless for a moment. In the background, I could see Robin leaning forward and Demetrius craning his neck from the kitchen. Even Maru turned around to view the commotion. "I accept!" he exclaimed, squeezing me tightly.

I could feel warm tears flowing from my eyes.  _Please…stop…_

But the memories continued. Sebastian learning how much to water the crops. Me teaching Sebastian how to brush the barn animals. Sebastian telling me how much I made him feel appreciated as I fell asleep in his arms…why did I not remember these things before it was too late? The images faded away until I was alone with Welwick the Fortune Teller once again. "Why did you show me these things from my past?" I demanded.

She folded her hands together. "These memories are what your heart treasures most, yes? Well, you will have these moments again."

My heart jumped. "How?"

"I suggest talking to another young woman who is in tune with such matters." Welwick separated her hands from one another, placing them on either side of her crystal ball. "Remember…these premonitions are not set in stone. The future is like the weather…there are no guarantees."

I quietly left her tent after drying my eyes, and the Wizard approached me. "Welwick and I have known each other for a long time," he informed me. "She is a remarkable diviner, and a good friend."

I forced a smile, hoping that his confidence in her was not misplaced.


	9. The Truth

Chapter 9: The Truth

* * *

There was a hole in the mountain that led to a secret lair where the Witch resided. I had been there once before, on a mission from the Wizard. I had not ventured there since, out of fear of being caught, but I remembered a certain artifact in the Witch's Hut that might have had the answers I was looking for.

Three shrines stood inside the small shack, each promising a grave alteration for the price of a single offering. One would bring monsters to the farm. Another would change one's offspring into doves that would fly away and never return. The one I wanted, though, was the Dark Shrine of Memory, which would erase the memory of an ex-spouse, making it seem as though the relationship never existed. All I needed to do was offer more gold.

_Why do relationships cost so much money?_  I inquired internally, but I was more than ready to lay my gold out before the shrine. Yet, something stopped me from moving my hand to my wallet.  _What am I doing here? What do I hope to gain by erasing Sebastian's memories of me? Do I expect to make him fall in love with me again? Pretend we never met? What will his family think?_

It would have been obvious to anyone who knew my internal struggle that I had made a huge mistake by driving him away, and I wished I could take back everything I said and be more open with him. But at that time, no one knew what was going on in my mind, and I myself was oblivious to my own stupidity.

I heard a crash coming from outside of the Witch's Hut, and a loud cackling alerted me to the return of the woman of the house. I darted into a corner to hide, but the walls began disappearing all around me. I screamed as everything went black. A flash of white light blinded me, and when my eyes adjusted, I found myself in an old basement, empty save for a couple of barrels and a large, arcane object that I recognized as the Shrine of Illusions.  _This is the Wizard's basement…_

I picked myself up and dusted off. My eyes darted around for the ladder that would lead to the exit, which stood slightly to my left. When I emerged from the basement, the Wizard himself was waiting for me.

"The answers you seek are not in the selfish magic my ex-wife has to offer." He remained calm, while I looked downward in shame.

"I don't really know what I want," I admitted. "I just wish I could undo the damage I've done."

"There are consequences to actions taken in the heat of the moment," he replied sagely. "And there are some things you can't take back." He lowered his gaze. "That is why she never tried to use the Dark Shrine of Memory on me…she knows that I deserve to live with the consequences of my actions."

I mulled over his words silently. I didn't believe that Sebastian deserved to be hurt by me, but I also didn't believe him to be completely innocent.  _I still don't know what his intentions were in marrying me…I want to believe that he honestly loved me, but I can't be sure that he loved me enough…_

I bid the Wizard goodbye and left his tower. The sun had already set, so I prepared to return home. I was caught off-guard by someone calling my name from the bushes. Upon investigation, I saw Abigail hiding in the brush.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I've been curious about that tower ever since I was a little girl." She pointed to the Wizard's Tower. "I didn't know that you had been inside…what's it like?"

I remembered a secret the Wizard had confided in me long ago and decided it was best to dissuade Abigail's interest in the tower. "It's not as exciting as the mines."

"I haven't seen you in the mines lately. Did you already deplete all of the good ore?"

"I don't know…I just don't like to go up to the mountains anymore."

"Oh, that's right…" She averted her eyes, and I realized that I had said too much.

"It's…it's nothing. Don't worry about it."

Abigail sighed. "I feel like it's my fault, though."

I remember what the Fortune Teller had told me about talking to another woman who had some knowledge of what I was going through.  _Maybe this is what she meant._  "I don't blame you for wanting to tell Sebastian how you felt. It must be hard keeping a secret like that."

"But now he hates me." I caught a glimpse of a dark streak running down her cheek. "He thinks I said something to you to try and steal you away. He made me promise not to tell you what I told him, and he thinks I broke that promise."

_He's a jerk,_  I thought. "Nobody told me anything. I accidentally overheard you two talking by the graveyard one night…I started thinking that he might have secretly returned your feelings, and I let it poison my heart against him."

Abigail paused inquisitively. "What do you mean, 'return my feelings'?"

"I mean, I thought he might secretly want to be with you, and that I was just a means to an end."

"You…you think I'm in love with Sebastian?" She brought her hands to her face in shock. "No…that's not what happened at all!"

"What do you mean? I heard you talking – " I stopped myself short, realizing that I had not actually heard the beginning of their conversation that night. If Abigail was telling the truth, then she could have been talking about anyone.  _But why would it be such a big deal to keep it from me, if not about Sebastian?_

"It was  _you,"_  she confessed, sobbing. "It's you that I love."

I was taken aback. My mind went completely blank. All I could think to say was, "I didn't know you liked girls."

"I don't," Abigail continued. "I mean, you're the only one. I don't understand it…but you're different from other girls. You're not too masculine or too feminine. You're confident and adventurous. You defy what I was taught a girl was supposed to be…if that makes any sense."

For a moment, I forgot all about Sebastian and tried my best to process this new information. "When did you realize this?"

"That one time you came to my house, and we read the spirit board together…you were already dating Sebastian at the time, and I didn't want to come between you. I thought it would go away, but it got stronger." She wiped away a tear streaming down her face and further smeared her eyeliner.

I wanted to hug her, but I was afraid of making a gesture that might lead her on. I had caused enough heartache already. Instead, I put a hand on her shoulder. "Abby…you're a good friend, and I enjoy the time we spend together. But once I got to know Sebastian, I knew that there could be no other. Even now, I'm struggling to resolve my feelings for him…"

"I know," she whispered.

"I wish I could offer some better advice…but I can't even help myself right now. I'm sorry."

"It's okay…I'm glad I could finally tell you in person, though." She smiled through her tears. "It's like we were fated to have this conversation…maybe I was meant to learn something about myself."

I smiled back at her. "Maybe I need to learn something about myself, too."


	10. Farewell, Stardew Valley

Chapter 10: Farewell, Stardew Valley

"We'll take good care of your animals while you're gone," Marnie promised. "Shane's got a real knack for raising chickens."

"Thanks, I really appreciate this." I smiled nervously, hoping that she wouldn't ask too many questions.

Marnie sighed wistfully. "I'm no stranger to love and loss…sometimes all you can do is take a break to clear your head."

"I guess so. I mean, it's not good for me or my animals if I'm not a hundred percent focused on my tasks at hand, right?"

"Right." Marnie crossed her arms. "So, you're leaving tomorrow?"

"That's right. I have all my arrangements made over there."

"Well…you're definitely gonna be missed over here. Come back as soon as you're ready, all right?"

I had already signed the lease for a tiny studio apartment in Zuzu City. I enlisted the help of Marnie and Shane to care for my beloved animals. All of my fall crops were harvested and sold. I just had to finish packing my things, and I would be leaving Stardew Valley the next day.

I wanted to go to bed early and make the day go by faster, but I couldn't sleep. I changed out of my pajamas and back into my clothes from earlier. Careful not to wake my house pet, I stepped outside. The crisp fall air nipped at my face – winter was just around the corner. I headed north through the backwoods, where no one but Linus ever ventured, enjoying the tranquility of the night. Before I knew it, I emerged in the mountains, passing behind the Carpenter's Shop. I detoured by the lake, where a dark figure stood by the water. My first instinct was to slip away unseen, but my feet lead me forward before I could stop them.

Sure enough, it was Sebastian – no one else would be outdoors at such an ungodly hour. He noticed me approaching, but refused to meet my eyes. "Why do you keep bothering me? I'm trying to forget about you."

I had no good reason to be there, but I figured I might as well clear the air about what Abigail had told me. "I'm sorry I assumed there was something between you and Abigail. I was wrong about both of you."  _That doesn't excuse you from assuming I was unfaithful, but at least I can clear my conscience._

"I don't care about that," he sighed. "You were willing to believe anything negative about me to justify the fact that I didn't live up to your expectations. You're not the first person to give me that."

"That's not true!" I argued. "You were perfect for me…maybe I let things get inside my head." I moved closer to him, but he ignored my presence in favor of lighting up a cigarette.

"I didn't marry you to get out of the house," he added. "I loved you…" His voice trailed off, then he took a long drag.

I wanted to ask him if he still loved me, but I knew there was no point to it. "I loved you too…maybe at the sacrifice of myself." Once again, the realization came with the words.  _Maybe this is how it has to be, so we can both grow as adults._

"I'm kind of tired right now. I don't want to argue." He flicked his cigarette into the water. The tiny red cherry extinguished with a faint  _hiss,_ killing the final light in the darkness. He turned to walk back home without saying goodbye. I watched him from the edge of the lake until he disappeared into his house, then started back the way I came.

The next morning, I got up early to care for my animals one more time and say goodbye to them. I wondered if they would miss me…if anyone would miss me. I had no return goal set.  _Perhaps I'll never return. It's better if everyone forgets about me – or at least, the people I've hurt._  I arrived at the bus stop a half-hour early, hoping that no one would catch wind of my departure. Eventually, Pam sauntered over to the bus stop.

"All aboard for Calico Desert and Zuzu City," she called loudly, even though I was the only other person around. I approached her with the bus ticket I had purchased from the kiosk earlier. She took my ticket. "Climb aboard."

The bus was empty. I took a seat near the front, next to a window facing Pelican Town. Part of me had hoped that someone would come to see me off, but I wasn't surprised that no one came. Pam revved the engine, then the motor settled into a steady hum. I watched the trees slide away as we pulled into a long tunnel.  _I wanted Sebastian to be happy,_ I thought somberly.  _I thought that making him happy would make me happy forever…now I realize that I need more time to figure out who I really want to be._


	11. The Invitation

Chapter 11: The Invitation

As soon as I arrived in my new home, I regretted moving to the city. There were sirens and horrible music blasting from the streets at random intervals between the noisy cars and the clamor of passing crowds. People shouted at their friends and kids through my paper-thin walls as though my apartment was invisible to space-time, and I could hear every step and creak that came from the room above mine. The apartment itself was a tiny excuse for a broom closet with a single room, an alcove with a kitchen area, and a bathroom with only a shower and a toilet in a tall building that spanned several stories – mine was on the third floor. The plumbing was decrepit at best, and I usually paid a quarter of what I was paying in rent on utilities due to the frequent flooding it caused. I didn't venture outside much, for fear of being mugged or worse, and thus I started to get out of shape. The only positive aspect of living in that apartment was that worrying about my ability to thrive kept my mind off of Sebastian. Yet, on rainy nights when I was offered a moment of peace, I would lie in bed and imagine him near me.

Not surprisingly, I was able to get my old job back at Joja Corporation. I don't even know if the hiring staff cared to know that I had worked there before; they merely stamped an approval on my resume and shuffled me along with the rest of the new recruits. Each of my coworkers was more insufferable than the last. There was a low-level guy who constantly complained that the boss didn't let him pick and choose which hours he wanted to work, two custodians who spent full-time hours standing in front of the water cooler and talking about their estranged family members, and a woman twice my age who didn't understand why we had to use the most current software instead of her floppy disks. I tried to ignore them as much as possible without being called out by Human Resources for "anti-social behavior."

On my days off, I entertained myself with books, music, comics, and video games that my friends in Pelican Town had introduced me to. I missed them and everything else about Stardew Valley.

_I'm sorry, Grandpa. I failed everyone…especially you._

Winter was difficult in the city. Not only did I find out the hard way that the gas heater that came with the apartment didn't work, but the cold somehow made me feel even more alone out there. Sebastian's birthday was the 10th, and I wondered what he was up to on that day.  _He's a pretty reclusive guy, so he's probably not going to have a big party. Maybe he'll just hang out with Sam._ I wondered if he was back on good terms with Abigail. I wondered what Abigail herself was up to. I hadn't told either of them I was leaving, a decision I had convinced myself was the best for all parties involved.

I was checking the mail one summer day and was shocked to see a letter from Abigail in my mail box. Only Marnie had my new address, and we only corresponded on matters pertaining to my farm. A warm sense of nostalgia tickled my brain as I opened the envelope and read the letter inside:

_Hey, it's been a while!_

_I've done a lot of soul-searching since the last time we spoke. I started researching_ _obscure magick online and found a group with the same interests as me! One person in the group has become very close to me, and I'm going to invite her to the birthday party I'm having in two weeks…I would love it if you could come meet her!_

_Please write back soon!_

–  _Abby_

For the first time in months, I felt an honest smile creep across my face.  _I'm glad that she could move forward with her life…Abigail deserves to be happy._  Then a melancholy cloud settled over my head:  _I wonder if Sebastian has moved on and forgotten me._

I didn't know why I was still thinking about him. I had other opportunities to date people, but zero interest in pursuing them. It would have been nice to have a companion again, someone to help me find a reason to wake up and go to work in that God-forsaken city, but no one was worth my time. Everyone at work was too self-absorbed and unaware of how their presence affected other people, and that was certainly not what I was looking for in a partner. I wasn't interested in nightclubs or spending large amounts of money on entertainment, which further limited my dating pool. I shook my head and tried to put the subject out of my mind.

I gently refolded the letter and put it back in the envelope.  _It might be nice to visit the valley again,_  I thought.


	12. Loose Ends

I felt much better after boarding the bus to the valley, but as I came closer to our destination, I became apprehensive. Although I had every intention of seeking out Sebastian, I didn't want to ruin the party with a confrontation right off the bat. I reminded myself that I was there primarily for Abigail, and I had even brought her a gift of an Amethyst to celebrate her big day. I concentrated on keeping my breathing steady on the long bus ride, and once I arrived, I was completely calm.

I had written to Abigail in the time before the scheduled event, confirming my appearance and securing the details of when and where. The celebration, she told me, was to take place in the Cindersap Forest, in the clearing normally reserved for the Flower Dance. Since my farm was on the way to where I needed to be, I stopped by to see how things were going.

Shane was standing outside of the coop with my chickens happily pecking away at the corn he had scattered by his feet. I called to him and waved. He nearly jumped when he saw me.

"Nobody told me you were coming back today," he gasped.

"I'm here for the party," I explained, "but I wanted to check on the farm first."

"It's a lot of work, but it gives me something to focus on to keep from drinking too much. Plus, it's a learning opportunity for Jas."

"That's great!" I gave him the thumbs-up.

I spent the next couple of hours tending my animals. I was certain that they missed me, as they seemed extra happy to be reacquainted with me. When celebration time loomed closer, I took my leave and headed south into the forest.

Walking into that clearing was surreal. My head began to spin as I looked around at the people I had known – Robin, Demetrius, Pierre, Caroline, Clint – even Shane and Marnie had managed to get there around the same time as me, despite having taken different routes. All of them acknowledged me as I passed, giving positive or neutral greetings. Some of the younger townspeople came up to greet me and talk about the ambience of the event, but Sam, Abigail, and Sebastian were nowhere to be found. I made my way to a large buffet table with a tiered chocolate cake, which I presumed to be the handiwork of Evelyn, and a variety of appetizers. There was a small pile of wrapped presents on one side of the table, but I wanted to present my gift to Abigail personally.

At that moment, someone shouted my name excitedly. It was Abigail, of course, looking the same as ever. "I was afraid you weren't going to come!"

I wasn't sure how to answer that, so I just smiled pleasantly. "Happy birthday!" I held out the Amethyst, and she accepted it earnestly.

"An Amethyst!" she exclaimed. "I'm impressed. Thanks."

"Those are good for digestion," stated an unknown woman's voice. I checked behind Abigail and saw a thin, pale woman with short spiked hair and three piercings in each ear. She dressed in a similar manner to Abigail, but more tomboyish.

Abigail affectionately wrapped her arm around the woman's waist. "This is who I wanted you to meet," she chirped. "This is Zanna."

Zanna smiled and offered an awkward wave. "Nice to meet you."

"You too." We shook hands.

We spent some time shooting the breeze. Abigail and Zanna told me about the obscure magick they were deciphering, which wasn't something I was familiar with, but I found it interesting nonetheless. They served me some chocolate cake and suggested I pick a beverage from the self-serve bar to wash it down.

"I wouldn't trust the punch," Zanna said. "I think the old blonde woman over there added an extra ingredient to make it more…exciting." She pointed behind her back with her thumb over by the bar, where Pam and Shane were having a conversation.

"There's some spiced pumpkin juice over there that's pretty good," Abigail suggested.

"All right, I'll see what's over there." I left them at the buffet table and headed over to the bar, which was lined with several empty glasses and a myriad of liquor bottles, and a centerpiece of a fondue fountain modified to serve punch. In spite of Zanna's warning, I decided to try a bit of the punch. I picked up an empty glass and reached into the fountain to collect my drink, but was surprised to hear a  _clink_  as I accidentally toasted a glass on the other side. I craned my neck around the fountain to see who was there.

It was Sebastian. He dropped his glass into the fountain and grew even more pale than normal. I jumped backward myself and bumped into Sam, who had come up behind me on the way to use the punch fountain.

"Hey, I didn't expect to see you here," Sam greeted cheerfully.

"Abigail invited me," I explained.

"Good to see you again. Are you coming back for good?"

"I…" I didn't know how to respond to that, especially with Sebastian standing just a few feet away. I eventually settled on, "That's a professional secret."

"I see." Sam sauntered over to the bar to examine the selection of beverages. I turned to look at Sebastian, my heart racing to the point of inducing vertigo.

_Here he is,_  I thought.  _This is my chance to talk to him…_  But I couldn't think of what I wanted to say to him.

Sebastian broke the awkward silence. "I thought you were finally out of my life." He said it so nonchalantly that I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or if he was actually disappointed to see me.

"Abigail invited me." I shrugged. "I assume she invited you, too."

"Yeah, of course."

"So…you're friends again?"

Sebastian sighed with annoyance. "Did you come all the way out here for this?"

"No…" I paused for a moment to clear my throat.  _I might as well just spit it out._  "I still love you, Sebastian. I'm sorry I doubted your love for me. And I'm sorry I didn't fight harder to save what we had." There was more to say, but that was a start.

Sebastian's expression softened into the sadness I had seen the night he moved out of the farm. "I don't hate you." He put his hand on my shoulder, and immediately I felt tears spring to my eyes. "It's just been hard trying to get over you…distance is the best remedy for that." He forced a weak smile. "Just…live your life, okay?"

I was speechless. I nodded and whispered "Okay." He pulled his hand away slowly, and I added, "Goodbye."


	13. Build A Fire

I stood at the bus stop, waiting for the next ride to Zuzu City. I didn't expect Pam to be working the night shift after Abigail's party – especially if Zanna's observation about the punch was accurate – but somebody had to come by. A cold wind blew and I heard the dull roar of a motorcycle in the distance.

_Well, I wanted closure, and I got it._  The tears felt hot against my cold cheeks.  _I've spent too long pining over him, but it's time for me to move on. Clearly, that's what he's done._  The motorcycle's engine grew louder, and my adrenaline started flowing as I realized it was coming closer. I stared down at my feet as the cyclist pulled up in front of me.

"Need a ride to the city?"

There was Sebastian, clad in his motorcycle helmet and holding out a second one to me, merely a few hours after he said we should keep our distance from each other. I was cold and I didn't want to waste my chance trying to decipher the nuance in his tone, so without a word I put on the helmet and climbed up behind him. The ride to the city was long and cold, but it felt good to wrap my arms around him again. I didn't even question how he got my address. When we finally arrived at my apartment building, it felt like the ride had ended too soon.

I stepped off slowly and removed my helmet, which I returned to Sebastian. "Thank you."

Sebastian removed his helmet as well. "No problem." He hung the helmets on either handle and stepped off, adjusting his sweatshirt. "I…I wanted to tell you something I should have said earlier."

"Do you want to come inside?" I pointed to the building.

"Yeah, sure." He followed me up three flights of stairs, then waited for me to unlock the door. "So…do you have a roommate?"

"Nah, I live alone." I shoved the door open. The lamp on my nightstand was already on – I had anticipated coming home after dark. "Sorry it's so small. Make yourself comfortable."

He went in ahead of me. I locked the door behind us, and I turned around to find him closely examining the wedding photograph I had left on the nightstand weeks ago. I hurried over to him. "Don't destroy that!"

"I wouldn't do that." He set the photograph down gently where he had found it. "I still have a copy of that picture somewhere." He moved to the couch, and I sat down next to him, about a foot away.

"Can I get you anything?" I asked.

"Got any coffee?"

"No…I've been getting my caffeine fix from Joja Cola now. I get them free from work."

"Disgusting." He made a face. "I thought Sam was the only one in town who likes that garbage."

"Well…coffee reminds me of someone, so I don't drink it anymore."

"Who?"

I looked away. "Isn't it obvious?"

Sebastian paused for a moment in thought. "Listen…" He fished around for the right words. "I'm sorry I didn't try harder, either. And I'm sorry I was stubborn and insecure throughout our relationship. My biggest fear was losing you – I even had nightmares about it. But then I went and made that nightmare a reality…rushing into that divorce was a mistake."

"Sebastian…" I rested my hand on his knee, but it didn't faze him.

"Sam made me come out here. Of all the people who would tell me I'm an idiot for not going after you, I didn't expect it to be him." Sebastian laughed quietly. "He was right, though. I can't avoid you forever, and I don't want to."

I leaned in closer to him. "Do you…?" Before I could finish my sentence, he leaned in closer to me, and our lips met. It was a sensation I had never expected to feel again – our breathing synchronized, his hand against the back of my head, my hand cradling his face…

He broke the kiss momentarily to whisper my name in my ear, sending a pleasant chill through my body. "Yes, I still love you." He planted gentle kisses on my neck. "I told you, it's been hard to get over you…so I never did."

We kissed again, this time moving so close together that I had to place my hand on his thigh for support. I tentatively inched it upward, then pulled it away nervously. He caught my hand in his, and our fingers tangled together. "Do you want to spend the night?" I murmured breathlessly.

He pulled me closer so that I was sitting on his lap. "Yeah…why not?"


	14. Epilogue

It had taken a while to sort out our differences, but in time, Sebastian and I had moved back onto the farm together. We even had Mayor Lewis remarry us in a private ceremony. Although married life is far from perfect – as we've both come to expect – we have grown close enough in our trust of each other that we decided to have a baby.

"I've had this recurring dream that our new baby is wearing a shadow shaman costume and sitting on a glowing pumpkin," Sebastian said, leaning back on the patio of our home. "Weird, huh?"

"Were you able to tell if it's going to be a boy or girl?" I laughed, rubbing my large pregnant belly.

"No, not yet." He came over to me as I was tilling the spring soil. "Remember not to strain yourself. Doctor Harvey said you need to take it easy."

"I'll be fine," I insisted. "But thanks for your concern."

"Of course." He carefully wrapped his arms around me.

I had settled back into the valley without much issue. No one brought up the turmoil that Sebastian and I had put ourselves through in the past year or so – as far as the residents of Pelican Town were concerned, it never happened. Sebastian would sometimes tell me about the melancholy life he led in my absence, and I would return the favor when asked, but those stories grew fewer by the day.

Later that evening, we sat down to a lazy dinner of frozen pizza. "You know," Sebastian said between bites, "I've never actually seen you buy these…they just magically appear."

"I usually get them from Shane," I confessed. "I found out that after the Joja Mart closed down, the employees were supposed to be responsible for disposing of all the goods they couldn't sell…but most of them just took whatever they could grab. He took so many that he's having a hard time using them all before they expire."

Sebastian laughed. "Sam did the same thing with those awful colas. His mom got mad and threw them out, though."

For a split second, I had expected him to get a little jealous at the mention of another guy's name.  _We've both grown a lot, but I think there's always more to learn…baby steps, and all that._  I felt our baby kick, right on cue.

Sebastian reached over and took my hand in his. "I may be a reclusive guy, but I'm always happy when you're around."

I squeezed his hand affectionately. "I'm glad I'm the one who can make you happy."

"Do you think your grandpa would be proud of the work we've done?"

I smiled. "I think we're doing the best we can."

[THE END]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the comments and feedback! I hope you enjoyed this story!


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